Oh yeah? Well, go hug a tree!
Current mood: thoughtful
Someone in my office made a comment that I found to be thought-provoking. She said, "I'm so excited to visit my family (out of state) and be hugged by people who love me."
Her point was this –You hug people everyday. Hugging can mean "hello," "goodbye," "nice to see you." But when you're hugged by someone who loves you (dad, sister, bestfriend, grandma, childhood playmates), the tiny gesture feels vastly different.
As I pondered her comment (and mused at how I'd never considered this), I realized there was truth in her statement.
In my opinion, a hug is fairly intimate (and that's not referencing anything sexual in nature). But when I wrap my arms around another person, that's rather personal. And when someone hugs you, they're communicating in a nonverbal manner to go above what he/she can say with mere words. Mom verbalizes she loves me, but her hugs say she's proud of me and my choices in life. When I am hugged by my dad, I feel cherished and tiny and I know I'm still Daddy's little girl. When I hug my bestfriends Angelique and Michelle, I hope they feel how grateful I am to call them family and to know they'll always be in my life... no matter the distance.
Compare those types of hugs with ones you share with a co-worker, an associate, a coffee date you first met 45 minutes ago. Really think about what your thoughts, feelings and emotions were during the likely quick exchange. What was the embrace meant to communicate? What did it mean?
Perhaps it's because I consider hugs to be fairly special, but I don't generally initiate hugs to say "thanks for coming," or "it was fun." I actually feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable being forced into a hug by someone who wants to say "goodbye" or "nice to see you since yesterday." And I hate more than anything to feel trapped in the "good meeting you" hug that comes after a first date. Forced is the most appropriate word I can think of. I mean, you don't know me and I don't know you and let's just not pretend that we're actually at a point of caring about each other so much that we'll wrap our arms around one another and do this heart-to-heart dance. Truthfully, I get more out of hugging my pillow while I watch T.V.
So anyway, my co-worker's comment about being hugged by people who know you and actually love you despite it all... it intrigued me. I suppose my brain got a new wrinkle as I learned how right her statement was, innocent as it may have been, and how it motivated me to evaluate hugs in my own life.
Perhaps you'll be conscious of your own thoughts and feelings the next time you hug a loved one or are forced into that awkward hug with a newbie.
And if anyone cares to know, when I hug my dog I'm telling him I love him. When my dog hugs me, he's telling me he has to pee, that he wants his Kong refilled and to feel free to bring home new footballs without notice. That's unconditional love, right?
Current mood: thoughtful
Someone in my office made a comment that I found to be thought-provoking. She said, "I'm so excited to visit my family (out of state) and be hugged by people who love me."
Her point was this –You hug people everyday. Hugging can mean "hello," "goodbye," "nice to see you." But when you're hugged by someone who loves you (dad, sister, bestfriend, grandma, childhood playmates), the tiny gesture feels vastly different.
As I pondered her comment (and mused at how I'd never considered this), I realized there was truth in her statement.
In my opinion, a hug is fairly intimate (and that's not referencing anything sexual in nature). But when I wrap my arms around another person, that's rather personal. And when someone hugs you, they're communicating in a nonverbal manner to go above what he/she can say with mere words. Mom verbalizes she loves me, but her hugs say she's proud of me and my choices in life. When I am hugged by my dad, I feel cherished and tiny and I know I'm still Daddy's little girl. When I hug my bestfriends Angelique and Michelle, I hope they feel how grateful I am to call them family and to know they'll always be in my life... no matter the distance.
Compare those types of hugs with ones you share with a co-worker, an associate, a coffee date you first met 45 minutes ago. Really think about what your thoughts, feelings and emotions were during the likely quick exchange. What was the embrace meant to communicate? What did it mean?
Perhaps it's because I consider hugs to be fairly special, but I don't generally initiate hugs to say "thanks for coming," or "it was fun." I actually feel a bit awkward and uncomfortable being forced into a hug by someone who wants to say "goodbye" or "nice to see you since yesterday." And I hate more than anything to feel trapped in the "good meeting you" hug that comes after a first date. Forced is the most appropriate word I can think of. I mean, you don't know me and I don't know you and let's just not pretend that we're actually at a point of caring about each other so much that we'll wrap our arms around one another and do this heart-to-heart dance. Truthfully, I get more out of hugging my pillow while I watch T.V.
So anyway, my co-worker's comment about being hugged by people who know you and actually love you despite it all... it intrigued me. I suppose my brain got a new wrinkle as I learned how right her statement was, innocent as it may have been, and how it motivated me to evaluate hugs in my own life.
Perhaps you'll be conscious of your own thoughts and feelings the next time you hug a loved one or are forced into that awkward hug with a newbie.
And if anyone cares to know, when I hug my dog I'm telling him I love him. When my dog hugs me, he's telling me he has to pee, that he wants his Kong refilled and to feel free to bring home new footballs without notice. That's unconditional love, right?
posted by Doris @ 10:38 AM
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