Do not collect $200

Current mood: determined

For years (decades actually) I’ve suffered from a horrific obsession. It’s just horrible. Results in devastating physical abnormalities that are quite the eyesore. It’s embarrassing and shameful.
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I am...
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a nail-biter.

Yep. Do you see? Just awful.

So today, on a complete and utter whim stemming from a brief moment of determination to grow 10 beautiful nails, I pulled my truck into CVS and marched my happy little butt over to the Nail Care section.

After a few moments of debate over various products, I left with $21 of guarantees and 5-day promises.

One of those guarantees was a product I used as a child. A bitter polish that is meant to remind the nail-biter that his or her fingers have unknowingly made their way to his or her mouth.

Holy. Freaking. Cow. This product has been vastly improved since I was a child. When I was 10 years old, I would continue to bite right through the bitter and kinda laugh at how "tough" I was. But now... new and improved formula sent my tongue running for the hills!

Bad bad bad stuff, I tell you! Straight to Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

I managed to keep my nails out of my mouth... and you won’t see me pull the TV down on my head twice.

But what’s worse is this... the muscle memory stored in my arms still managed to occasionally bring my fingers to the general mouth area (even if remaining clear of actually passing go). My fingers, as if teasing, simply rested on my chin, or my cheek, or even at times brushed my lips. And that, my friend, was the kiss of death.

You see, whatever bitter was on my fingernails, passed to my lips even with the smallest of brushes. So, when I’d lick my lips... yep, you guessed it! Running for the hills again.

Bad bad bad stuff, I tell you! Straight to Jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Erhgyshkelrsl... yick!

But hey, one of the other many products I bought in my desperate attempt to be a girl with pretty hands was a nail growing formula that guarantees 300% longer nails in just 5 days. 5 days, people!

And if not, then I’ll spend $2.83 in postage to ship the unused portion and receive a refund of $7.49. (and if that sounds convincing, there’s this bridge...)

So give me $21, 5 days, 4 products and 10 beautiful nails. We’ll see.

And now, I’d like to close by saying something wise like

strange emotions

Current mood: blank

At approximately 3:30 a.m. today, a Gaylord Palms Banquet Captain was killed in a car accident. The details are sparse and the circumstances are all hearsay at this point. But what I do know is this:

Julie, who is a workout friend, a fellow Epcot Guide and a group housing representative at Gaylord Palms, is struggling to come to terms with the loss.

For the better part of a year, Julie and Jeff have been friends, pals. And for the better part of a year, Julie has been in love with Jeff.

Last week, Jeff took Julie out and they shared a first kiss, taking their friendship to new terms.
On Saturday night, Jeff had plans to join Julie and some others for an evening out at CityWalk to celebrate a friend’s loss of 50 pounds (working out, Weight Watchers, etc.). Earlier that day, Jeff’s parents asked him to drive to Altamonte Springs and spend Easter with them. Not wanting to drive on Easter Sunday, Jeff skipped out on CityWalk and instead drove to his parents’ house on Saturday night.

That would be the last Easter his parents spent with him.

Having not heard the news, today at lunch Julie was joking around and saying she bet Jeff wished he could be there for the fun they had at CityWalk.

Shortly thereafter, a banquets STAR felt it was necessary to tell Julie (knowing only of the long friendship she had with Jeff and not of the newly budding romance).

Sufficed to say, Julie was driven home just an absolute mess.

I know Julie. I didn’t know Jeff. But I’m wracked with emotions.

Finally, she was on the verge of having something special with a person she cared a lot about. Finally.

That’s the word that keeps running through my head - finally.

I almost wonder if it would be easier on Julie if they’d remained friends and never shared something as intimate as a kiss. But in the same breath, I wonder if at least Julie has the one intimate moment she can hold onto. But then, I wonder if she will dwell on what could have been and find suffering.

But then again, she took that chance. She had one week of what must have been utter happiness for her. She dared to live.

And now, Julie’s friends have seen her cloud-high happy, smiley face fall in an instant.
God, I don’t know what to say to her.

She missed having her one last night out with him (Saturday’s CityWalk outing), but I’m glad his parents had that time with him.

Geez.

Such strange emotions.

And now, I’m off to paint shiny happy flowers.

142 Baby

Current mood: triumphant

Today, my entire department skipped out of work at 11:00 and went to lunch at Macarroni Grill. We then followed that with 3 games of bowling, drinks (not me... I was focused on winning), laughs (lots) and just fun.

Long story short - I was kickin’ butt and takin’ frames! John tried... I must admit he put up a good fight... he even tried mental intimidation (tried being the variative word there).

But I was there to win. And I don’t easily give up.

I won all three games with 142 being my high game... not my highest game ever, but high enough to win this time.

Does that sound a little gloaty? It was meant to.

My prize? Gift card to Macarroni Grill. Gift card to AMC Theatres. Gift card to Best Buy. And some chocolate.

Totally scored, dude.

Do you know who I am? I’m Michael Jenkins!

Current mood: laughing

This made me laugh this morning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO0xw9SWmic

digging up bones

Current mood: amused

You know how a move often unearths things you’ve lost or forgotten about? Well, I found a ton of crazy old photos - mostly from high school and college and a few even older. I posted a few just for the fun of it because they made me laugh or smile or reminisce when I saw them. I may post more at a later date to boot!

tell her what she’s won!

Current mood: burnt-out

Alex, I’ll take Epcot Guides for $1000.

Answer - World Vista Plaza between the twin stores.

Buzz.

What is the answer to the question I was asked 347 times tonight - where is the best place to watch Illuminations?

Man would I love to see you play hockey

Current mood: annoyed

Since I first time I saw The Cutting Edge (and developed a celebrity crush on D.B. Sweeney), the skating movie has been my all-time favorite.

Tonight, I watched a sequel (yeah, bad move I know) called The Cutting Edge 3: Chasing The Dream.

What were the writers thinking? The ending was EXACTLY the same as the ending in the original film. This thoroughly pissed me off.

Reason being, I’ve always thought the ending to The Cutting Edge is one of the most romantic scenes ever. The two skaters, who obviously care for one another and have never admitted the fact, finally admit their feelings in a heated moment followed by performing a risky move on the ice to win the gold medal.

In this 3rd film, the two skaters are fighting just seconds before taking the ice. He stops her from going onto the ice, he tells her he loves her. Her eyes are wide with shock. She lowers her head and allows one tear to slip. Then she tells him she’s doing the move and pushes past him to the ice. He follows her and says its too dangerous. She said she’s there to win. They do the move, the crowd cheers, the movie ends with the two of them sharing their first kiss on the ice.
EXACTLY THE SAME SCENE!!!!

And guess which move it is? The pamchanco - the same move from the first movie.
And you know what gets me? A handfull of writers got paid big bucks to totally rip off the first movie. It’s like legal plagiarism.

I’m just ranting. Think of when you hear your favorite song redone and remixed by some new artist that truly doesn’t do it justice. Same smell here. The new actors are young and cute, but this hotshot figure skater dude is certainly no D.B. Sweeney.

"Man would I love to see you play hockey."

"Any time."

what?

Current mood: shocked

http://www.att.net/s/editorial.dll?eeid=5748371&eetype=article&render=y&ck=

finally got that wascally wabbit

Current mood: pleased

Well, okay - so it wasn’t exactly a wascally wabbit, but I certainly felt like Elmer Fudd with a wall-mount when I finally scored a Big Texas Cinnamon Bun today.

Yep.

I put my dollar into the machine. Sure enough, it spit the dollar back out at me. But that’s par for the course, right? So, I straightened the dollar a bit and slid it back into the machine.

When the cha-ching sound happened, I knew it had accepted my offering.

I squinted at the machine, daring it to reject me for a second night, and punched in 162 as I stared at the Big Texas Cinnamon Bun just sitting there.

And a minor miracle occurred... the spiral began turning and in a matter of seconds, I had my paws wrapped around a Big Texas Cinnamon Bun.

Now, if you recall from my last post, the snack cost was .95 and the machine had demanded that I provide exact change and so refused to drop the bun. I was bunless.

As luck would have it this time, the machine took my dollar but failed to return the nickel change. NOW who doesn’t have exact change?

Doesn’t matter. I figured it was a fair trade. I got my long sought-after Big Texas Cinnamon Bun and the machine took a nickel tip.

I paired it with an Orange Fanta, propped up my feet and watched the tail end of Wheel of Fortune. Didn’t actually know that show was still filming.

The bun was yummy.

A moment of brag...

Current mood: touched

There are 7 Gaylord Values -- Passion, Respect, Integrity, Citizenship, Creativity, Excellence and Service.

Once a year, Leaders are nominated to be named a Gaylord Values Award recipient - one for each Value.

For the past week and a half, I have been collecting nominations for the annual Leaders Gaylord Values Awards (one of my duties is to spearhead the process from collecting nominations to organizing a selection committee to shooting a video featuring each of the recipients).

To be nominated is quite special. It means someone took the time to write about you and go into detail about why you should be awarded a Gaylord Values Award.

Today, I receievd a rather moving nomination.

I was nominated.

My first reaction was, "What? Is this a joke?" The nomination came from Tommy (my cohort in the great orange caper and someone with whom I'm always joking around).

His email with the attached nomination simply said - "Seriously."

Then, when I opened the nomination and read it, well... lump in the throat, glassy eyes, complete and utter suprise.

I was so touched to have been nominated and I just have to brag a little bit.

I was nominated for Creativity.

Doris has incredible organizational skills, that when combined with her out- of-the-box problem solving method, allow her to continually plan events that represent our STARS first culture.

Doris researches ideas, and then researches them again, making detailed lists of props, times, locations, costs, themes and dates. She adds a unique twist to her solid planning skills by thinking of puns and new ways to spice up events. Plans often change at the drop of a hat due to the nature of our business, and where some may be discouraged by this, Doris seems to take restrictions and setbacks in stride, moving forward to produce an event to her best capacity.

STORY 1:
This year the STAR Events Team decided to move money from a particular event that had low STAR turnout and satisfaction. It was proposed that we use that money for an all-STAR art show, which was later dubbed "The Blank Canvas Collection". The money allocated for this event was $1,200.00, which seems like a lot until you add in Food and Beverage, a hired guard, PSAV media solutions, fresh flowers, and displays to hold or house the artwork. The space given to us was Tallahassee meeting rooms ABC, which obviously was prohibitive for hanging art on the walls. Doris wanted the feel of the room to be very much like walking into a trendy art gallery off of the street, complete with lighting, seating, and plenty of room to display the many different forms of STAR artwork. Doris made an entry form to gauge STAR interest, and monitored the response boxes daily. In no time at all, it was clear that this was going to be a more popular event than anyone on the team had imagined. After carefully calculating the size and media of STARS work, Doris began calling to price out rentals of temporary walls and other ways to display the art. Much to our dismay, to rent 12 display walls, tensa-barriers, jewelry cases and 2 benches from Freeman, the decorating Company, would have cost close to $1,800.00 alone.

Doris crunched numbers to find out that even the minimal amount of rented decoration would not leave enough money to hire a Safety Services Agent to watch over the gallery during its open times, rent PSAV Media displays for digital STAR art or have any food and beverage during the opening ceremony. To be honest, I was beginning to think that this event was going to tank … there just wasn't enough money allocated for it.

Doris found a list of alternatives to hanging art on the walls of the rooms, from using easels, to leaning framed pieces against the walls. One idea that stood out was the possibility of building display walls that anchors could be nailed into and reused for later events. She met with the Engineering and Purchasing departments and soon had a plan and a stack of supplies, the cost of building incurred by Engineering and the supplies only totaling a couple hundred dollars.

Still motivated to succeed, Doris began looking online to buy certain decorating items such as lights and benches. To rent one bench would cost roughly $200.00, Doris bought three for that amount on clearance at a Target store. After negotiating with PSAV, Doris convinced them to give us one LCD projector one listening station, two TV/DVD stations and an overhead projector … free of charge. These creative solutions to our financial crisis allowed for the food and beverage and Safety Services Agent to be paid for easily. After dedicating several hours to organizing the art drop-off and pick-up process, arranging and hanging the work and overseeing the opening of each day of the gallery, Doris had made an Event classic that will surely be looked forward to by many STARS -- Her creativity allowed this seemingly impossible brand new event to be an outrageous success.

STORY 2:
My role is to be creative, and sometimes ideas just run dry. Doris is not only extremely organized and deliberate, but funny and creative. Sometimes mentioning a roadblock I am having in designing a logo or fitting 30 words into a 15 word slot, is effortlessly solved by a suggestion from Doris. When my leader Shawna Allen is out of the office, the hotel looks to me for solutions to their communications problems. Doris is very helpful with grammar and punctuation … she is practically a walking A.P. Style book. During the times I do require assistance, from a proof read to a soup-to-nuts write-up, Doris will drop whatever she is doing to help. Recently, when Shawna was out, Doris came to the rescue by meeting with Keith Salwoski and providing me with precious copy (wording) for the power outages across the state. I was very busy with other projects and it was a relief to have everything ready to go out by the time I got my hands on it for the first time.

I am not the only one to be rescued by Doris' creativity and swift action. A member of our STAR Events Team, Aaron Mendelson was recently in Las Vegas for a conference and was unable to manage his entertainers. He said, "Doris recently helped out the Entertainment Department during a need period for a large event in the St. Augustine atrium. She oversaw an event that included more than 10 performers spread out throughout the St. Augustine atrium including Villa de Flora. Even as pieces of the event changed around her, she was able to be flexible and roll with the punches, ultimately assisting to create a fantastic party for our guests with Coldwell Banker."

Doris never gives up, is always polite and is joy to work with. She has been with the company a limited amount of time, but has adapted to Gaylord Palms remarkably quickly, personifying all Gaylord values. After every event she eagerly awaits STAR feedback, looking for ways to improve – even when negative, she researches ways to satisfy every STAR; a very difficult charge. I was on the selection committee for the Event Production Specialist Position when Doris interviewed here. She had my vote then and now, as I have never regretted my decision.

Thank you for your consideration.
Tommy Bradburn

Leap Frog

Current mood: bouncy

Again, much like Mr. Rogers, I have a morning routine.

When the alarm goes off, Beau stands on my chest and pushes his wet nose into my cheek giving me my daily does of good-morning sugar. Sometimes we play fight for a while, sometimes I hit the snooze button and we repeat the routine... but at some point I always reach for my glasses on the bedside table. And when that happens, Beau knows what time it is – time to hit the back alley!

As soon as he sees my hand go for my eye glasses, he shoves off the bed at lightning speed, always amazing me with how quickly he can go from heavy-eyed and yawning to wide-eyed and bouncing. I grab my robe and slippers and follow him down the stairs and to the back alley where he plays, runs, leg-lifts, growls at squirrels in the palms, huffs at passing hot-air balloons and begs Jake (the neighbor dog) to come out and play.

This morning, my Beaudog happened to find himself a leap-happy frog.

I wished like everything that I'd had my camera to capture the scene on video. I laughed and giggled and, taking a lesson from Beau, immediately went from heavy-eyed and yawning to wide-eyed and bouncing.

When he first found the frog, he stood back and stared as it sat in the grass beneath a tree. Before long, Beau's curiosity got the better of him and he cautiously lowered his nose to investigate the odd-looking creature.

The moment that wet nose made contact with the frog's back, the frog leaped a good 2 feet leaving the grass and entering the asphalt of the alley. At the same moment, Beau leaped a good 2 feet leaving the grass and ramming his backside against the tree. With wide eyes, he twirled around to see what had grabbed his bottom. I saw his brain process, "It's just a tree, it's okay. Back to the matter at hand. Now, where did that little hoppy critter go?!"

For at least three minutes, Beau and the frog played a game of... well, um... for lack of a better description – leap frog! Beau put his nose to the frog, the frog leaped, Beau leaped. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Straight down the alley.

Eventually, Beau decided to try something new. Bit by bit and ever so vigilantly, he extended his front paw to touch the frog. As expected, the frog's reaction was the same. Leap. However, Beau's reaction was not the same. With his paw still lifted, he stared at his paw as if it had been stung, glanced to the frog's new position and finally set his paw back down on the ground.

His face seemed to say, "I'll not be trying THAT again." Perhaps the frog was slimy or lumpy. But clearly not what he'd been expecting.

So instead, he refocused on trying to get at least one good sniff of the frog. Nose touch, leap, nose touch, leap.

And then came the moment of truth... Beau had seen him, smelled him, touched him. The next logical step was to... taste him.

While I had enjoyed playing witness to dog-meets-frog, I feared what might happen if Beau decided to pass on the kibble and instead partake of frog for breakfast. So yes, worry-wort Mom put a halt to the game immediately. He managed just one quick taste (not harming the frog, folks) before I took his toy away.

Not two minutes later, Beau had the dreaded foamy-mouth syndrome that always comes when a dog enjoys his first frog-ala-mode.

I really wish I'd had my camera handy. The scene was straight out of Saturday morning cartoons.

ramblings

Current mood: happy

Six days since I last posted - that has to be some sort of record. Planning for the move into my new place, spending lots of quality time with Beaudy etc. etc. etc.

Excuses? No. Just explanations for why my journal posts have been MIA.

I often have my computer running in the background (music playing, email open, AIM idle), but I rarely find a moment when I'm actually motivated to sit down and write.

I guess I'm just happy with where I am right now. No, I don't mean the apartment - hence the move. But I'm happy with where I am in life right now and so I don't have much to complain about. It seems my writing is funniest when I've got a complaint.

Ya know what? Hold the phone. I in fact DO have a complaint. For the past few months, I have not been carded when I partake in an adult beverage. What the heck is that about!?!?!?!

And that's it. That's all the complaining I have. I'm out, well has run dry of complaints.

I really like my job and my coworkers (co-STARS). I've got a dog who keeps me laughing. I've got friends who grin and bear my oddball tendencies. I've got fam who would bend over backwards to help me (and have proved it on many an occasion). I've got my truck back. I've got all my own teeth. And while I complain about growing older, I'm truthfully thankful for every single day I am given (in fact, I look forward to being gray and wrinkly and smelling of Bengay, but I fully intend to keep all my teeth).

I'm just... happy.

Okay, somebody knock the sap out of me. It's been an emotionally sappy two days for me. Geez louise. And by that, I don't mean I'm teary-eyed or anything remotely close. Quite the opposite. I reflect on all I have and I'm grateful and I can't quit smiling.

I'm just... happy.

And on Tuesday night, I sign my new lease and get the keys to my place! Woohoo! Perhaps I'll open a bottle of wine that night to celebrate in the dark (power service is scheduled for the following morning). And you know what? Before I take a sip, I might just card myself!