Wednesday, January 30, 2008

hardware store

After weeks of unsuccessfully searching for the perfect necklace to go with the perfect dress and shoes for an event on Friday night, I did a very "Doris" thing. I thought – I'll make it!

I bought two necklaces. Individually, I care for neither one. But I like elements of each. So, I bought both. And you know… if I think I can build it, create it, craft it, or dream it, I'm gonna try.

That means… disassemble the two necklaces and create one I like from the favorable elements of each.

I needed a pair of needle nose pliers to accomplish this and, believe it or not, that's one item I don't have in my tool box. A new hardware store opened it town, so I decided to check it out.

I came straight from work – heels, dressy pants, sleek fitted blouse – looked very Ann Taylor.

Out front, two men wearing red Ace vests stood talking. As soon as I pulled up (driving my mom's Stratus – a very un-Doris car), they watched. I knew what they were thinking. "Clueless – 3:00." It was like when the last-picked comes to bat and the pitcher signals for the outfielders to move closer. I felt them swarm.

I ignored them and entered through the automatic doors. This was certainly not my first trip to a hardware store. I mean, geez, sometimes I walk around Lowe's just to get the creative juices flowing. I created entire luncheon centerpieces for an outdoor mural unveiling from parts and pieces I found at Home Depot. No, I don't build houses and I try to steer clear of put-it-together-yourself furniture, but otherwise I like to build, create, craft (no, not with popsicle sticks and q-tips), and dream! A hardware store – what better place to think outside the box?

Reading the signs over the aisles, I quickly knew where to find the needle nose pliers. I'm not Miss South Carolina, afterall.

One foot down the aisle and I heard the inevitable. "Can I help you with something, Miss?"

I can't help but wonder if I'd pulled up in my truck wearing overalls, a ball cap, chewing on a reed of grass and speaking with my best hick impression if I might have been left alone. I actually wanted to walk around the store and check out the new place. But instead, I had an escort.

Eh, who knows? Maybe next time I'll carry a mini-dog in my handbag and say, "I believe... that I am lost in the hardware store because the US Americans don't have maps and our education such as in the Iraq everywhere like such as..." (Ref: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww)

But if you're wondering… from the two, I successfully created one necklace that works great with the outfit! Go me!

Monday, January 28, 2008

questions like you are an alien

Current mood: luminous

During lunch today, a non-regular at our lunch table spouted out that I look like the Ice Queen from Narnia (which I have actually heard once before). Only vaguely recalling the story from childhood and never having seen the movie, I didn't know what the Ice Queen looked like. So, I asked.

Innocent enough, right?

Well, it started an entire conversation about redheads in general. I threw out facts I knew. They threw out facts they'd heard. Turned out to be a rather interesting conversation and I thought I'd share a few of the highlights… and quite possibly trash a few of the stereotypes (NO! We don't ALL have quick, fiery tempers, dang it all!!!!) he he he

But first, I have to dispute the suggestion that I look anything like the Ice Queen. Aside from being tall and thin with red hair, I take full offense to the idea that I look anything like this!

Moving on.

Did you know that red hair is caused by what is essentially a defective gene? That's right, folks. Technically, I'm a mutant! This is why it's possible for non-redheads (like both my parents) to have a redheaded child. And vice versa (one or two redheaded parents does not necessarily equal a redheaded child). Not only does the defective gene cause red hair, but a mutated MC1R protein is found in our skin and eyes (making us sensitive to ultraviolet light and usually lending to blue, green or light eyes).

Did you know that redheads require a higher-than-normal dosage of anesthetic during surgery? I don't fully grasp the details surrounding this phenomenon, but it's true. Look it up. Medical journals and all that garb. In fact, when I was knocked out to have my half-formed wisdom teeth removed, I woke up during surgery. Yeah. Fab. That's kinda scary, actually. I pray for never requiring surgery again.

There is also a study that suggests redheads have a higher pain tolerance. According to the study, the jury is still out when it comes to a definitive answer. But personally, I find most pain to be tolerable. I mean, I rarely cried from injuries as a child. A massive dog bite to the face, a chipped ankle bone from skateboarding, a busted knee from my first and last attempt at rollerblading, softball to the shoulder, a busted head when, in my excitement, I was competing in the 200 backstroke and missed the overhead flags and my coach's voice warning me of the approaching wall, and the list goes on. Not one tear. It hurt, but I could bear it.

Did you know that redheads are depicted in a great number of 19th Century and early 20th Century artworks? For example, Sandro Botticelli's The Birth of Venus, Edmund Blair Leighton's Accolade and God Speed, Sir Frank Dicksee's Lady Godiva, John William Waterhouse's Lamia, Walter Crane's La Belle Dame Sans Merci and Anthony Frederick Augustus Sandys' Mary Magdalene to name a few.

The myth that redheads are a dying breed is just that… a myth. A trend has indeed shown a lessening number of people with red hair in the world. However, because the cause of red hair is a recessive gene, it is possible for it to reoccur at any time. Therefore, there is always the possibility for a person to be born with red hair even if "extinction" occurs.

I joked about the temper before, but as one might think, there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support the idea that redheads have a temper any hotter than people with other hair colors. However, in The Iliad, Achilles has red hair. It is thought that this may have contributed to the myth of temperament.

It was an interesting conversation. Odd to have people ask you questions like you are an alien or so very different from who they are. "Do you feel pain?" "Do your eyes get sunburned?" Might as well have asked if I pick up radio signals with my ears. I should have just held my fingers in a V-shape and started speaking Klingon.

And as for my temper (the question most asked at the table)…. Yes. I suppose I do become easily irritated and will let words fly. Usually, however, it's only strangers who witness that sort of craziness. Most times, I am able to keep my cool around people I know I'll see again! Most times. ;)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

My teeth are falling out!
Current mood: stumped

For as long as I can remember, I've had a recurring dream. Scratch that. I've had a recurring nightmare. When I wake, I find myself breathing heavy, heart beating fast and quite honestly I'm grateful for the fact that I am safe in my bed with all my teeth.

Yep, I have nightmares that my teeth are falling out. Sometimes it's just one, sometimes it's multiple teeth. Sometimes they fall out as whole teeth, sometimes they crumble in my mouth and I'm forced to spit out pieces. Sometimes they are loose and I fight back the temptation to wiggle them like baby teeth, but I lose the battle every time and wind up with a tooth or two in my palm.

The nightmares are intense and I always experience extreme stress and heartache over the loss of my teeth. I full-on panic. And when I wake I'm in a panic. But then, I guess that's the definition of a nightmare, right?

After having experienced yet another tooth-loss dream (er… nightmare) last night, I decided to do a little research. As it turns out, there is an abundance of information online about this very topic. It seems that this is a very common nightmare shared by millions, which surprisingly does very little to comfort me.

Of course an abundance of information does not necessarily equal a definitive interpretation of the nightmare. In fact, there are many "guesses" as to what exactly the dreams mean. Psychologists, dream-experts, everyday Joes and even Freud all have varying opinions about the meaning of the dream.

The most obvious interpretation, and I think the lamest interpretation, is the idea that the nightmare is equivalent to one's vanity and concern over appearance. When I have these nightmares, I am not focused on my appearance. I don't have the moment of, "How will I look?!" My concern is simply more for the fact that my tooth is gone and it shouldn't be. And honestly, as much as I joke about my appearance, I'm happy with myself and I don't have stress over the way I look. So, I highly doubt that my nightmares stem from some underlying drama having to do with conceit.

Another interpretation is that the loss of teeth represents the loss of power. I don't get this connection, either… at least not for me. I don't feel powerless, helpless, or incapable of… well, anything. That's not to say I think I'm queen, but I don't really lack in confidence. Along the same line of thought, some think the teeth-falling-out dream can mean a person is struggling to express themselves or to get a point across. As a writer (and an artistic person in general), I never experience a time when I don't self-express. And as for getting a point across – well this journal provides positive proof that I'm not subconsciously fighting to be heard. I mean, you just read this, right? Done.

In the Greek culture, when a person dreams about teeth falling out, it indicates that a family member or close friend is sick or even near death. I've had these nightmares since I was a child, along with a dream about being in a snake pit (I dare not even research that one… Freud would have a field day), and I've never noticed a correlation between the timing of the nightmares and the loss of a loved one. So, 0 for 3.

In China, there is a saying that your teeth will fall out if you are telling lies. If that were true, Bill Clinton wouldn't have a tooth in his head. "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

It has also been said that if you dream of your teeth falling out, then it symbolizes money. I did check under my pillow this morning. Nada. Dang lying tooth fairy. Bet she's completely toothless!

According to Freud, men dreaming of teeth falling out is caused by masturbatory desires. I… uh… what? I don't get the pairing, but I'm just going to leave that one alone. Freud had no explanation for women having the teeth-falling-out dream.

So….. I don't get it. Not one of the explanations truly applies to my life. So why do I keep having this nightmare?

Friday, January 25, 2008

dirty laundry on the radio
Current mood: hyper

Don't be the person who calls the radio station and airs your dirty laundry.

There's this show that I sometimes catch on one of the local radio stations. "The War of the Roses" The host takes a story from a caller who thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her. The radio station proceeds to call the boyfriend and pose as a start-up florist willing to send roses to a person of his choice for free in return for word-of-mouth promotion. With the girl on the line, they ask the boyfriend to whom they should send the roses.

And while I think this is kinda funny… yeah, I admit to laughing.

When the boyfriend names a girl other than the caller, the girlfriend has this "Ah ha!" moment and immediately speaks up to confront the cheater. Now, the funny part is when the boyfriend (soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend) starts back pedaling like a maniac. "You got to let me explain."

"That girl's my sister." "Girl, we're just friends."

Yeah. Right.

It's like a radio version of Springer. Just need a 7-foot bald guy and a bleepy button.
Now, what's NOT funny is when the guy is not cheating… when the boyfriend actually names the girl who is on the phone. It's a bit cruel.

If the girl wants to make herself look like an idiot... so be it. But she's dragging this other fellow into it, too. This poor guy (who was clearly not a cheater) is being thrown under the bus by a chick lacking in confidence and overwhelmed with false suspicions. His name has been given on the radio. Undoubtedly, people are listening who know him.

Even if he wasn't cheating, he's probably going to break up with her for pulling this kind of trick on him.

I would.

She's getting someone else to take care of her business - publicly!

Geez Louise.

But hey, it's 15 minutes of entertainment for the ride home.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

new glasses!
Current mood: nerdy

I've worn contacts for years because, well, let's face it... I've already got a few nerd factors happening without adding a pair of glasses to my face (tall and thin, red curly hair that frizzes when it rains, ears that stick out, and the list goes on).

But on Monday, I got a pair of glasses that I actually kinda like. I'm considering wearing them out and about in public on occasion (certainly not all the time - I mean, the glasses can't correct the ears, ya know?). But they're like a fun new accessory... accept if I lay my purse down I might forget it, if I lay my glasses down I won't be able to find my way back to my purse.

I posted a few pics... with a funny grin. ;)

Tell me what ya think? Be kind, people!

(Thank you, John for being the first to comment!)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

just a little banter
Current mood: feisty


At work today, I was Googling the key words Feel, Think, Act for an upcoming event with an obscure theme I had in mind. In doing so, I stumbled upon the following article (written by a man) detailing how single men can attract single women. I seriously got a good laugh at this Mr. DeAngelo who fancies himself an expert on what women think. Not once did he reference having asked single women for their opinions. In fact, he boldly boasts that he is self-taught and is willing to impart his sought-after knowledge that some men will die never knowing. How incredibly generous of him.

Okay, if you're one of my Myspace friends, then you know me (I don't accept invites from folks I don't know). With that being said, then you also know that I can be very opinionated if I see an opportunity to poke fun - not really taking any of it seriously or to heart – so I hope you find this as entertaining as I did.

If you're reading this from my public Blogspot page and don't actually know me, then consider this fair warning. And hey, go back and read some of my posts from years past (starting back in Los Angeles) and you will quickly learn. The more fun I can make of know-it-alls, the better. As a matter of fact, Mr. DeAngelo reminds me of Mr. Ferrari-driver with the F-1 transmission (some of you will remember that rant).

Below, you will find my notes in blue.

What Women HATE Most About Single Guys

By David DeAngelo

If you listen to a group of attractive, single women talking alone over dinner or drinks, the topic will always turn to MEN. And in most cases, it will eventually turn into a RANT session about how hard it is to find good men to date... Which will lead to a FULL-ON RAG SESSION about men in general... And wind up with a detailed list of all the traits guys have that are ANNOYING AS HELL. (Right now, what I find annoying as h-e-double-hockey-sticks is the fact that you keep CAPITALIZING random words – and yes folks, he continues to do this throughout the entire article.)

The reality is that single women have an entire laundry list of traits, qualities, and characteristics that they HATE in single guys. Did you know this? I didn't think so. Well, the truth is that up until a few years ago, I didn't know this either.

So take heart in the idea that you're about to learn something that most men on this planet will DIE not knowing. (Big head.) My hope is that what I'm about to share with you will change how you interact with women FOREVER... and help you meet and date more of the kinds of women you're interested in. (Oh please, do share.)

FRIENDSHIPS AND ROMANCE

For women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same. One can lead to another, but it's RARE when it happens.

Remember that. One CAN lead to another, but it's RARE.

"Romantic" relationships are very different from "friend" relationships. (Is this guy getting paid for these revelations?)

While most men would sleep with most of their female "friends" if the woman "came on" to them, most women would NOT sleep with most men that they consider "just friends". (Bologna. I believe not one of my male friends would actually proceed to sleep with me if I came on to them. Two good examples are Lindsey and Robert (two of my oldest male friends from way back in college and high school, respectively). They'd probably check my pupils and make sure I got home okay because I'd surely be drunk out of my mind or high, but they would never just jump right into bed with me. I'd like to think they value our friendship more than that. A friendship which would undoubtedly be changed afterwards.)

But why is this? How do women differentiate between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you"? And why is it so hard to become "more than friends" with a woman you've been "just friends" with for a long time? (Probably because she believes you to have no interest in her beyond friendship.)

The answer to this riddle is very interesting to me. (The answer to a riddle I'd find interesting is the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, but somehow I think the answer to your riddle will be less than fascinating.)

I believe that the answer comes down to understanding HOW women "know" when they want to "be intimate" with a man... and, even MORE importantly, understanding how women "know" when they DON'T want to "be intimate" with a man...

The thing that tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS. (okay, I'll give you that… but duh!)

It's a combination of EMOTIONAL feelings and PHYSICAL feelings. (It's emotional, trust me. Physical has very little to do with it. Once you emotionally find someone attractive, then physical attraction just happens. There's no combination in the beginning. That dumb way he crinkles his nose when he laughs that you found incredibly ridiculous-looking when you first met… well, if you are emotionally attracted to him, the nose-crinkle can become endearing and even appealing. I made up the nose-crinkle – don't go dancing around that one.)

It is NOT logic. She might USE logic to "rationalize" her decision... or she might USE logic to SOUND like she has a good reason for either "being with" or "not being with" a particular guy. (Who does this fellow think he is? Why would a woman's rationalization need to be in quotations? And why would we need to "sound" like we have a good reason to be with someone? We're with him because of how we feel and how he makes us feel. You nailed that part. Why go patronize our feelings, moron?)

But don't let that distract you. Logic isn't important AT ALL in this context.

A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a particular guy. (Again with the quotations around the word decisions.)

If she feels that "Ewwww Yuck!" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably not be that she wants to date the guy in question. (Sherlock) If she feels that "It's Gettin' Hot In Here" feeling, then her "logical" conclusion will probably be that this guy is interesting and attractive, and a good "choice" to date. At this point she'll take ACTION on her feelings and thoughts.

FEEL--->THINK--->ACT

First the FEELING, then the THOUGHT... and THEN the action. (If a few shots of Patron are on hand, then it may be act, think, feel. But I digress.)

Now with this in mind, how do most guys behave around women that they're "romantically" interested in? What do they do to get the woman that's the object of their desires to be with them?

Take a few minutes to think about this. Now take a look at your list. I'll bet that almost every single thing on your list was something "external". (Speaking of external, punctuation goes inside the quotation marks, Mr. Writer.)

In other words, your list probably contains things like "Take her to dinner" and "Give her compliments" and "Buy her flowers" and "Call her often". These are all things that demonstrate that he's INTERESTED. They are NOT things that trigger those emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman that tell her that THIS IS THE GUY. (True. I'll give you that.)

In other words, men try to use "props" to LET A WOMAN KNOW HE'S INTERESTED... ...HOPING that when the woman sees these displays she'll be interested in him. Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to "Attraction" and "Arousal".

The PROBLEM with this kind of thing is that it makes TWO HUGE MISTAKES at once.

First, it's just the plain-old wrong way to go. Telling or showing a woman that you "like her" has no effect on how she feels about YOU. In the moment it sure seems to make sense... "If I show her how I feel, she'll return the feelings". Duh. Like I said, it seems like the right thing to do in the moment (when your inner little girl has a big fat crush). But it's not... it will have NO effect on her feelings for you.

And second, it communicates clearly that YOU DON'T GET IT. It tips a woman off INSTANTLY that you're not hip to what's going... and it kills your chances with her. Trying to show how you feel can actually HURT your chances with a woman. (Wrong. Don't play games with her. It's okay to say it once… if she doesn't feel the same then continuing can hurt your chances. Not before.)

If you DON'T get it, PLUS you're trying to compensate for the fact that you don't get it with gifts and compliments, then you're REALLY screwed (or not screwed, as the case may be). (Oh-ha-ha, such a comedian)

Remember what I'm about to tell you. Burn it into your mind. Write it on a sticky-note and put it on your computer monitor...

SINGLE, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN WATCH MEN TRY TO WIN THEM OVER ALL DAY LONG. THEY KNOW WHEN A GUY DOESN'T "GET IT"... AND
THEY'RE ANNOYED WHEN A GUY WHO DOESN'T "GET IT" JUST KEEPS TRYING AND TRYING AND TRYING. (AND YOU JUST DON'T GET THIS CAPS THINGS DO YOU!?) (On a more serious note, the later part of that sentence is true. Once you've gotten the no, don't keep trying.)

The point is that if you DON'T GET IT, then nothing you do is going to work for you. The problem is bigger than you can imagine, and you're going to need to take a totally different road to get where you're going... (He thinks he's Will Smith.)

WHAT ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HATE MOST ABOUT SINGLE GUYS

Let's return to where we started. There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women. One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS. A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success with a particular woman.

Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:

1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would be this.

Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control... and let YOU call the shots... and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and approval". (I have NOT met this man - ever.)

But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness". Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative. Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval. (What the hell!?)

THEY HATE IT! (WHAT THE HELL!?)

I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept. (I'd get a kick out of red-penning that, sucker.)

(No, we don't want you to change in the sense that you "give away your power in return for approval." But who the hell said you have power? Power of what? Power over who? I don't get that comment at all.)

2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

When one person "clings" to another person "psychologically", the person who is being "clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite... This is WUSS behavior at its worst.

If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he might say "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?". (I've never met this guy either.)

Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large department store. Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute. If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY. He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him. (Um… the guy who takes me to a department store for our first date is probably not getting a second date anyway. So, case closed.)

And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc. "Do you think I'm interesting?" "Do you think we could ever have a relationship?" "Am I your type?"

Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN AWAY. (Not completely true. Don't ask if I think you're an interesting person. Not those words. But I think it's perfectly acceptable to clarify if you find one another romantically intriguing. Best not to be lead on.)

3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead

Women have WUSS-DAR. One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.

The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally. (Because I understand the context of this sentence, I'm not gonna nail you on it. But watch it, buster.)

So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING. He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them. So what does he do? He ASKS for them! He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that sound?". (Okay, so I've accepted a second date with the Disney writer dude. And he asked me, "I was thinking of dinner and drinks at Big River Grill or House of Blues. Do you have a preference?" I don't see one thing wrong with that. It doesn't make me think he's a wuss for asking what I prefer. I mean, he doesn't know me at this stage in the game. Better to ask than to just assume. What if he'd said meet me at this great sushi place…)

Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to do... please help me know how you want me to act, where you want me to take you, and what you want me to say". (No. What the woman interprets is this - "I'm trying to get to know what you like." It's that simple. We don't think you're a wuss for asking what we like.)

This is ATTRACTION DEATH!

4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low-Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body Language

There's a term that single, attractive, in-demand women use to describe men who use weak, approval-seeking posture, gestures, comments, and mannerisms... The term is "NICE". "He's nice... but... there's no chemistry."

This is one of those areas that's not easy to talk about. Since SO DAMN MANY GUYS do this stuff, it's almost impossible to explain. It's like trying to tell a fish that they're not going to get anywhere in life if they stay wet. The fish doesn't even KNOW it's wet in the first place. (Nice analogy. Yeah, I said it was "nice.")

Go spend a day observing couples. Go places where couples that have just met spend time together. Bars, clubs, coffee shops, whatever. (Yeah, not department stores.)

Now watch the GUYS. Watch how they lean towards the women. Watch how they raise their eyebrows in exaggerated response to women's comments. Watch how they slump over, let their shoulders fall forward, and smile fake-ly at whatever the women say. If you're close enough, listen to how men ask questions and make comments with a voice tone that says "I'm insecure and I'm trying to be extra nice to compensate for it".

You'll see it EVERYWHERE.

In fact, you'll see it so much that you'll probably write me back to tell me that I'm the one who's crazy, and that since it happens so much, it must be "the right way". (You're crazy, but…)

If there's one thing that triggers an attractive single woman's WUSS-DAR, it's a man's posture, gestures, eye contact, voice tone, etc. It all happens in an INSTANT. Women read this stuff and interpret it as instantly and accurately as you read and interpret the cover of Playboy. NO ANALYSIS NECESSARY.

I'd say that probably 90% of all men alive today INSTANTLY disqualify themselves with women because of this problem.

Their voice tone, gestures, posture, etc. TELEGRAPH the message that they're a WUSS. (I'm beginning to think Mr. DeAngelo might be a black-leather-jacket-wearing, greasy-haired, pimp-wanna-be who drives some ridiculously over-priced sports car to compensate for… other things. I mean, what is his obsession with being a wuss?)

They do a thousand weird little things to let a woman know that they're uncomfortable and "not being themselves". And you guessed it... Single women HATE IT! (In the beginning, I'm probably uncomfy and not being myself either. Big hairy deal.)

5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're A Man

I'm about to get philosophical on your ass, so be cool. (Bring it on.)

When it comes down to it, most men don't understand women. But the REAL kicker is that most men don't understand MEN, either! (But you do, right?)

Most guys don't know what it's like to get in touch with their MALE NATURE. (And that's not a wuss-like statement?)

Combine these two issues, and you get a guy who behaves in ways that DO NOT trigger ATTRACTION in women.

Women have a "nature". A female nature. (This is a surprise.)

Men also have a "nature". You guessed it, it's a MALE nature. (Blow me down!)

Women are coy. They like to play hard to get. (Not true.) They like to enjoy the chase. They love anticipation. They love to "let a guy catch them"... (We like to be caught off-guard… like with the first kiss… but not as general as you just made that statement. That's a very Pepe Le Pew statement of you. Think about that one. He too thought the black cat was playing hard to get, didn't he?)

Men are competitive. Men are dominant. Men like to play rough games, win things, and rule their territory. (Har Har Har, Tim Allen)

Well guess what? Most men don't BEHAVE like men when they're in the presence of a woman that they "like". (And that's a bad thing?)

Women like men. Men like women. There are POWERFUL causes at play here. (Dr. Phil?)

When you're around a woman you like, don't act like a GIRLY-MAN. It's not sexy, and it's not attractive... And single women HATE IT! (O-M-G!!!!!)

6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

Underneath most behavior that I see most guys acting out is a "core belief" that goes like this: "I don't believe that an attractive woman would want to be around me just because she enjoys my presence... so I make up for it by saying and doing certain things that I hope she'll enjoy... and if she enjoys those other things enough, then maybe she'll want to spend more time with me."

Heavy, man.

Here's a profound thought:

I and several other guys I know have many women who call us often... just because they enjoy being around us. (Uh… is this fiction?)

These women would be happy just to be in the same room with us... and enjoy our company. (I do have to say, that even while Mr. DeAngelo is clearly taking an opportunity here to show off a little, the fact is that I would prefer to do nothing most times. I would love to have an evening sitting in the living room watching a rented movie with a big fat bowl of microwave popcorn. I would love to do nothing. We don't have to go someplace and spend tons of money. I would love to walk around the lake with my dog and my date – yeah, must love dogs to apply.)

And yes, these women CALL US. Often. (Bet you're in the friend-zone, shorty.)

Material gifts, food, flowers, and other "displays" have ZERO lasting value to a woman when it comes to how she FEELS about you... An attractive single woman wants a guy who LIGHTS HER UP. She wants to FEEL GOOD.

She wants mystery... she wants to laugh... she wants a challenge... she wants sexual tension... (all true)

7) Not Understanding Attraction

This is a BIGGIE. Women know very quickly if they're talking to a guy who understands himself and women... and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension. Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of "Sexual Communication". (Secret language? Dang it, I took French!)

The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are NOT OBVIOUS. They're "counter intuitive", in many cases. In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK would make sense.

You have to do things like CREATE TENSION... stop doing something that she likes... give her time to miss you... etc. (Right… wrong… wrong. Tension is good, not doing things she likes is bad, giving her time to miss you is bad – bad – bad. Sounds like games. Bad. And while you're intentionally giving me time to miss you, I might believe you're not interested… I might say okay when the new guy asks me to get ice cream. If you're going to be busy or away for a while, then just say so. I'll wait. And I'll do the same for you. Generally, women are patient in that regard. But playing games with our heads like "giving us time to miss you" is cruel. And it'll come back on you, buddy.)

Single women HATE IT when a man doesn't understand ATTRACTION and how to communicate on this "other level". (Single women HATE IT when men pretend to understand what she's feeling. Just go with the flow. And if you want to know – ask. Ask your girl, not Mr. DeAngelo.)

Now that I've shared the mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. If you're starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD CLASS level. And what's the best way to do that?

Well, I've spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does and doesn't work with women. I figured this stuff out for MYSELF... and then I took what I've learned and put it all together to help others learn as well.

(And this is the part when he tells you he's written a book! Mr. Self-Taught has written a book!)

You can try it out for a full 7 days, and if you don't see MASSIVE results, just let me know... and pay nothing. Download my eBook and sign up.



Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

Monday, January 21, 2008

And so the hunt begins again...

Current mood: devious

And so… the hunt for the orange begins again!

But this time, it's Tommy's turn to huff and puff and suffer the frustration of well-thought-out clues. He he he. I love it! (rubs hands together and crinkles nose)

This is what I did – I have strategically placed a number of clues all around the office and his desk area (I'm checking daily to make sure our night-time clean-up crew doesn't remove them!).

On Friday, he received a note in his mailbox that was to be Clue 1.

Clue 1
Opposites attract and build a clue.
Down: __________
Yes: ____________
Don't: __________
Equal: __________
Fake: ___________
Dissatisfied: ______
Own: ___________
Orange: _________
Day: ____________
Listen: __________

The answer leads to Clue 2 which is placed… ha! Not saying. I will say that the first letter of the opposite words spell out the location of Clue 2.

Clue 2
These movie titles will align like stars and lead you to the next clue!
___________: A cricket is his conscience
___________: Remy goes from the countryside to Paris
___________: A Spielberg great
___________: Fairytale characters escape to a marshland
___________: A determined Cuban immigrant takes over a drug empire while succumbing to greed
___________: A computer genius reaches his 18th birthday and is finally allowed near a computer again
___________: A punk band holds up a radio station
___________: Stars a British Jane

So the first two clues are similar in nature. Just to screw with him a little before changing the style. Again, with this clue, the first letter of the opposite words spell out the location of Clue 3.

Clue 3
Use your cranium to ride through life and push on for the next clue.

Unless you've experienced Tommy's cube-o-fun, then you'd never figure this one out. He has a rubber skull that he glued on top of a blue convertible remote control car. Yes, at times you will see this head on a car rolling past your office door. Yeah.

So Clue 4 is stuck inside the rubber skull.

Clue 4
After solving the crossword puzzle, rearrange the letters in the circles to get the next clue.



...>..>..>..>..>..>..> ..>
ACROSS
5. random act of kindness

6. number of monitors on your desk

7. speak first and

9. yellow-bellied pirate

12. Aaron's dog

13. admin to Christina Gregg

17. orientation guru

18. every other Monday (2 words)

19. the walls

20. usually around 11:30 a.m.

DOWN
1. our newest hire

2. theme for Kingston's birthday party

3. Sue's home (2 words)

4. Mariemma is from (2 words)

8. closing time on Saturday

10. STAR talent showcase

11. going to Sora

15. usually Fridays at 9:00 a.m.

16. came back from ICE!

These answers are really ones that only a person working in our office will know. So, I'll give the answers to Across and Down, but not the rearranged letters.

...>..>..>..>..>..>..> ..>
ACROSS
5. Rak

6. Two

7. Last

9. Elmo

12. Hunter

13. Lisa

17. Caines

18. Payday Heyday

19. Yellow

20. Lunch

DOWN
1. Matthews

2. Toga

3. Winter Haven

4. Peutro Rico

8. Four

10. Blank Canvas

11. Pop

15. Wig

16. German

The rearranged circled letters will lead to the final clue – Clue 5.

Clue 5
Chiffonier Quill Case

Since it's the last clue, it's meant to be very difficult to solve. I hope that proves true. Gosh, Tommy's gonna hate me. He he he. I love it.

The last clue was written using a thesaurus. Those three words tell Tommy the exact location of the orange. I hope he does his Abode Labor on this one (homework).

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Missy

In the wee hours of the morning, a friend of mine received a phone call from the pet hospital where her precious girl had been for a week receiving blood transfusions and other treatments in an attempt to save her very sick body.

The call from the hospital was desperate and suggested Missy might not make it through the night.

My friend, while rushing to the hospital, called me to help her remain somewhat calm as she drove. And I actually remained calm. Funny how you can do that.

I talked to her about everything and nothing. At a couple of points, she asked if I thought there was a place in heaven for dogs. I changed the subject. I had to. When I heard her voice wavering... well, it can't be safe to drive with blurred vision. I talked about stupid, silly stuff. I tried to make her laugh. She probably hated me for it, but I had to try.

When she finally reached the hospital and found her boyfriend there waiting for her, I got off the phone. She would be okay.

That's when my calm surrendered. I never got the opportunity to meet Missy (she was born in Cali after I left). Even still, there were tears for my friend and tears for thoughts of 'what if.'
My thoughts went wild. What if it were me? What if it were Beau at the hospital? What if I had to see his food bowl and know... What would I do with his collars?

I could not imagine losing Beau. I have no idea how I could possibly move forward having experienced life with such a blessing and then being forced to live my life without him.

It was still dark outside and Beau was sleeping, but I had to wake him. He groaned in frustration and stretched his tiny legs as I hugged on him and sobbed at the very thought of a day when I might not be able to do such a thing.

About an hour later, Missy lost her fight and passed away in my friend's arms. She was certainly one loved dog and provided a lot of happiness, never asking for a thing in return.

And yeah, I think maybe there might be a place in heaven for dogs.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

welcome, Alana

Current mood: excited

My very good friend from LA, Alana, finally got on Myspace!! Yay!! So, I posted a bunch of pics that I had on hand of us. Check 'em out. And welcome, Alana. Big step, I know. Now, when are you bringing your tiny little self down here to FL to play????

jumped the gun



Current mood: happy


Okay, so I jumped the gun.


That thing that I was frustrated about not happening... I got an email late last night indicating it might be happening. Actually, the email had arrived yesterday afternoon but went directly to my junkmail (stupid filters) and I didn't see it until last night.


Went to see a late movie with friends and when I got home... there it was... screaming at me in bold from the junkmail folder.


I've been aiming for a particular publication for a number of years now. I've been so close so many times and then things always fell through. I'd been waiting on word that was supposed to arrive 2 days ago so I'd assumed I was once again out of the running. That's all I'm gonna say. Don't want to jinx myself, ya know?


So, forget The Far Side.


Instead, I have a new cartoon - one that suggests you should dream big.

Friday, January 18, 2008

damned if I do...

Lately, I've gotten a bit bogged down in... just crap. And sometimes I wonder if there exists in the world another person who has ever remotely felt the way I do.

Maybe it's the writer in me, but I tend to let my imagination run wild. I guess I day dream. Or just dream.

I think I can do anything... everything. I've always had that mentality. When I decide to do something, I do it. That simple. And if I'm told I can't do something, I strive that much harder to make it happen.

I dreamed of being a beach guard in PCB (all 110 pounds of me). I decided I wanted it. I did it.

I dreamed of having my writing published. I decided I wanted it. I did it.

I dreamed of moving to LA to model. I decided I wanted it. I did it.

I dreamed of moving back to Florida and being an event planner. I decided I wanted it. I did it.

I dreamed of having the world's cutest dog. I decided I wanted it. I di... well, I guess I didn't do that one. That one sort of fell into my lap. I believe Beau found me... at a time when I needed him most.

It's always been very simple for me. I want something, I make it happen. Doesn't matter the odds.

That hasn't been the case lately. And I'm really struggling to be on this end of the deal. It's actually very difficult for me to accept. It's easier to just imagine that you're working your way there, that it's just a matter of time... it's easier to just dream.

And again, I often wonder if there exists a single soul who can understand that.

Don't go calling my mom - I'm not jumping from any bridges. Writing is how I release. And a week from now, I'll look back at this and laugh at how dramatic it is. I hope.

And if you know me at all, then you know I'm gonna try to make light of most anything. So, I found this today. And I think you'll agree it serves as proof positive that The Far Side is based on my life. I should be getting royalties.

Cartoon:

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I love a rainy night

Current mood: peaceful

As I do most nights, I fell asleep with the T.V. on (Seinfeld was the last I saw). At about 4:30a, I woke up, took my glasses off, switched the T.V. off and laid there listening to the rain pouring down outside my window. I love that.

Monday, January 14, 2008

the marathon

Current mood: inspired

Yesterday when trying to get to work at EPCOT, I was hating the marathon, its runners, its planners and basically everything about it. Every path I tried to take through Disney property was blocked off by the marathon. The more I was turned away, the later I became in getting to work. I was cussing and screaming in my car, huffing and puffing and occasionally beating on the steering wheel in sheer frustration as I ran through all the possible ways to get into EPCOT.

"Dang stupid marathon! This is the most ridiculous place to have this son-of-a-biscuit event! I hate every single one of you for blocking my path!"

Somehow, I managed to get to work with time to spare, and then while walking through Future World at EPCOT I came through a backstage door near Spaceship Earth and found myself at the finish line.

Unbelievable. Simply awe-inspiring. Took my breath away.

A gospel choir robed in gold sung the runners across the 26-mile mark. Runners were holding out their arms and looking skyward. Three blonde little girls on the sidelines wearing handmade shirts bearing the words "Go Mommy Go" jumped up and down and shouted as they waited to see Mom round the corner. High-fives, hugs, laughter, cheers. A dark-haired woman near the choir held out her hand to make a connection and say congratulations to each runner she could touch. A silver-haired man jogged toward the finish line surrounded by three young men saying in unison, "Almost there, Dad. Almost there."

I stood there thankful for my sunglasses as the entire scene brought tears to my eyes. Dang stupid emotions. Hallmark commercials, sad movies and apparently marathons. Dang stupid emotions.

I was overwhelmed by… I don't know, I guess you have to witness it.

And so now… I want to be part of that. I want to do the marathon next year. No, not work on the team to plan it. No, not staff it. I want to participate in it.

Actually, I may start with the half marathon (approximately 13 miles) unless I feel good and ready for 26 miles.

It can be walked, ran, jogged… but I want to give it a try.

I know it will be h-e-double-hockey-sticks for my knees, but the exercises I've been doing lately have actually started strengthening the muscles that support my knees and perhaps if I keep it up, then things won't be so bad.

I'll need a good pair of shoes, a ponytail, a cute spandex top and a running buddy or two or three.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

crazy Florida laws

Current mood: silly

By complete accident, I stumbled upon a rather crazy Florida law today. So, I looked up a few more just for the fun of it.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk being jailed.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. (Now, you know this must have happened at least once for it to become law - ewwwww)

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

In Daytona Beach, the molestation of trash cans is banned.

In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.

Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

God, I miss playing.

Current mood: rockin

Tonight I went to see a legend in concert. Willie Nelson.

And if you know me at all, then you know I've got a few things to say.

Okay, first... please, oh please do NOT be the person who comes to a Willie Nelson concert wearing a Willie Nelson t-shirt. And even worse than that, don't be the person who buys a crisp new shirt for $25 from the tent next to the stage who then immediately puts the t-shirt on top of his other shirt and sports it around like he's the only one with such a prize.

Second... if you are 90+ years old, leave at home the "cowgirls and whiskey" shirt featuring a g-stringed bikini girl bent over. And for crying out loud, if you MUST wear the stupid thing, don't sit directly in front of me.

Third... please refrain from all bouffant-like hairstyles when attending a concert. Giant silver puffs on top of your head are 1) not flattering, 2) bug-catchers, and 3) stage-blockers!!!
Guess that's all for my rant.

Oh! And if you're going to be a legend, then for Jiminy Christmas sakes, BE A LEGEND! Willie fully sucked at this concert tonight. He destroyed some of my favorite Willie songs. I don't know. Maybe he was high. Go figure.

But I must say, his pianist was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Loved her. She had a fabulous black grand piano on stage and her talent was outstanding. Every time she had a feature and I heard the tinkling of the keys, my own fingers moved involuntarily against my leg as I heard and felt the sounds.

God, I miss playing.

Just a hound dog short of a Disney film

Current mood: breezy

After a night out at Downtown Disney, I was coming home around 12:30 am when a fox ran across our path (lucky it wasn't a black cat). Less than a mile later, I slowed to see a beautiful doe standing on the sidewalk stealing a bite from the neighbor's front yard. Then a gray rabbit scurried into the shrubs.

Just a hound dog short of a Disney film!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

steaky Current mood: blondish!

I tried to snap a self-picture showing the blonde highlights... turned out so-so. It was the best I could do! I actually might go back and have the girl add some more!

She said it normally takes only 1 tube to give someone highlights. It took 3 tubes for me. She said, "OMG! You have so much hair!"

Yeah, lucky me. :(

I also got it cut pretty short... a little scary for me, but I think it looks okay.

One guy in my office actually cried. Yes, real tears. He said, "You don't have virgin hair anymore and I really liked the red."

Geez louise. It's STILL very very red! I just have a couple of yellow-ish steaks.

And yeah, I do think I'll go back for more. I want her to double the amount of streaks so I truly have more of a strawberry blonde look.

Enough chat - tell me what you think!!!!!
..

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I’m sceeeerd, I’m sceeeerd, I’m sceeeerd! Current mood: scared

No less than 8 people tonight commented on how pretty my hair is... just hours before I'm having it altered for the first time in my life.

I'm sceeeerd, I'm sceeeerd, I'm sceeeerd!

But if you don't go for the things you want, then you're left with What Ifs. I intend to have none during my lifetime!

And so tomorrow, I'll be blonde... ish.

Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

stuff...

Current mood: okay

Thanks to everyone who sent me emails or left comments regarding what is a gigantic deal for me. I know, people color their hair everyday. But I never have, making it an enormous step I've never taken.

I met with a stylist/colorist today and I think she'll do great (fingers crossed). Granted, it's going to cost me a pretty penny, but I didn't dare go to Great Clips or Supercuts. I mean, you wouldn't hire a McDonald's burger flipper to cater your party, would you? Same smell.

I'm having it done tomorrow. I'll post pics! (or not, depending on how ridiculous I look)

So, the latest with the orange…
I'm developing a hunt-for-clues plan to try to top Tommy's anagram. I plan to place about 5 clues throughout his cube… each will lead him to the next clue and the last will lead him to the orange. I haven't got it all worked out just yet and Tommy's growing impatient asking, "Where's the orange, Dorisaurus!" But I want each clue to be cleverly written, humorous and very very very misleading (he he he), so I'm taking my time about doing it right.

Ya know, I just gotta mention the folks I now work with at EPCOT. Most of them are retired senior citizens (many married couples) who are absolute HOOTS! I aspire to be like these characters when I am 70 years old. These folks keep me in stitches!

Patty, not much bigger than a minute, uses the phrase, "I mean, Hellooooooo!" I just can't help but laugh at the petite, gray-haired ball of fire. She is outrageous! So full of energy. I bet she could outrun me on any given day. "You okay with the stairs?" she asked me before leading me up 4 flights of stairs. When we got to the top, I was huffing and puffing and she was talking a mile a minute without one loss of breath. Geez Louise!

Mona. Now Mona is a bit like Weezer from Steel Magnolias. Not that she's Southern, but she's an ornery, man-hating, lovable old lady. She thinks that every old man we work with (except our department manager who is young and gay) is a "putz!" (I've really got to learn to use that word since it seems to be surrounding me lately.) "What a putz he is!" she will say. And then she laughs at herself. I love it! "I got no need for a man," she says. "Eh, who needs 'em? They're all putzes." She's so grumpy, but hilarious!

Ralph. Ralph is a bottomless pit of Illuminations facts. To impress guests, and to keep himself entertained, he spouts out things like the exact number of rockets that launch during the show, the periods of them when tanks are refueling, etc. etc. etc. And my favorite thing about Ralph – he wears a straw hat (part of our costume) with a paper towel inside of it. When I asked him why he places a paper towel inside the hat, he answered, "Well, I got no hair left to keep my head warm. Paper towel does the trick!"

Pat, not to be mistaken with Patty, is a laid-back, hang-eyed totally girl lady. She wears he designer Ralph Lauren eye glasses with purple arms and speaks in the heaviest Wisconsin accent I've ever encountered. I absolutely love Pat! She's great!

Linda – turns out she lives on the same street as me in Celebration!
Beth – turns out she lives on the same street as me in Celebration!
Marlene – turns out she lives on the same street as me in Celebration!

What are the odds?

Marlene is a short little lady, retired nurse who speaks like a rough-around-the-edges Bostonian. (is that the right word for someone from Boston?) The cah is in the yahd. And for some reason she can't keep herself from touching my hair. She has a daughter who is dating a redheaded boy and she says she imagines their kids will look just like me. (Lord, help 'em.)

I am absolutely loving these people. They are the funniest bunch of folks who look at life through the best kind goggles – fun goggles. They laugh at everything. They complain about very little (except Mona, the man-hater). They love life. Amazing.

blonde?

Current mood: TERRIFIED, but a bit fluttery

Mom got a new car! (check out the pic) She says it's a bit cool for riding with the top down, yet. However, I reminded her of what Michelle, Angelique and I used to do in the Mustang during Spring Break in Panama City when it was cold at night – top down, heater on! It'll work. Trust me. Kori, I'm sure you've witnessed this goofy routine on many an occasion in PCB!



Okay. Now for a question I must pose and I demand input from each and every one of you.

People tell me all the time that I look exactly like I did in high school. For the past… I don't know, like 16 years I've had the same hair style. I mean, there's really not much you can do with natural curls.

It TERRIFIES me, but I want to finally try doing something different with my hair.

Recently, I cut 4 inches off the back and shortened the pieces closest to my face. I've not really had anyone note the change other than the occasional comment like, "Oh, you're hair is shorter. Nice."

So, I want an actual change. Not just a trim. It TERRIFIES me! But still, I want to try something new. I can't go any shorter for fear of looking like Little Orphan Annie!



But still, I want an actual difference that people will notice. And something that makes me feel like there has been an actual change. Here is what I am considering - even though it TERRIFIES me!

I've never colored my hair. Ever. But I am thinking about going blonde.



Eeek! Well, maybe not exactly like that.

But I AM contemplating some serious blonde highlights.

Oh geez. The thought makes my knees weak. It TERRIFIES me! But at the same time, the thrill of something new makes my heart flutter just a little.

So… mistake?

My hair grows fairly quickly so I couldn't really do a full color change, just highlights (don't want roots, ya know). But instead of being Redheaded (like now), I would be more like Strawberry Blonde.

Maybe something like this color:


A bit TERRIFIED. Feedback?

"Go for it." "I know a good colorist." "I think it'll look good with your blonde facial features." "Have you freaking lost your ever-loving mind?!!"

Give me something.

And rest assured I might need someone to hold my hand while it's being done… or perhaps a shoulder to cry on after it's over.

Did I mention the thought TERRIFIES me?

Oh - on the Disney writer dude - we met - he's a very nice fellow - very petite fellow - looks better in person than he did in his photos - no attraction on my part, but perhaps we could be friends. He's already asked to get together again. We'll see. Seems like an honest guy, intelligent.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Wish me luck... again. Current mood: nervous

Okay. Call me crazy. Twice.

I said yes to one final Match left-over who started emailing me again. What I can say for him is that he's persistent. I said no to meeting him more than once, but there's a degree of intelligence he possesses that, at least in email conversation, is attractive.

There's sort of a prob. See, I want to look up. And I actually do like wearing heels.

He's 5'8".

While I find him witty, I'm afraid my brain won't be able to convince my eyes to overlook the height factor. I'd have to slump on a regular basis. (And many of you know my new year's resolution is to work on better posture.)

OMG. Do I sound completely shallow or what? I go back and read that paragraph and think, "What a little beeatch." Could be a great guy.

He's a writer for Disney and his birthday is the day after mine! Conicidink.

A bit more about him... He loves themed parties, his favorite Disney ride is Dumbo, he never misuses semi-colons and he stated once that he was jealous of a friend who found adult-sized feety pajamas.

Wait - do you think he might be gay?

Wish me luck... again.

Saturday, January 05, 2008


Shamona, heck amighty, rainbows Current mood: nerdy


Tonight I was Shamona.


I did a 3.5 hour shift at EPCOT, but I left my name tag in the front seat of my car in the parking lot. So, I had to borrow a name tag from the box of lost Cast Members in the events office. I had two choices - Uta from Germany (complete with an "I speak German" tag) or Shamona from Cambden, NJ.


You gotta have fun with your job... soww, I became Shamona fwom New Jewsey foww the night. (yeah, that was me attempting to change accents and lose every "r".)


For a good ten minutes, I had a fellow Cast Member going. "Oh my God!" he exclaimed when we met and he read my tag. "I'm from Cambden, too!" Fortunately for me, he talked a lot so it was easy to play along. I had to say only things like, "Yeah! I remembew that place! Hung out thewe all the time in high schewl." (sorry for the accent again - I can't believe this fellow believed me!)


Anyway, it was fun for a while.


When the gag was up, I switched areas of the world - I was from the UK. In the dark, park guests never read your city anyway. I think I may have somewhat mixed English and Australian accents, but eh, I was cracking up myself and my coworkers. Made 3 hours pass a lot quicker. They even took my lead. Missouri girl became valley chick from Southern California and New Jewsey dude became a Georgia boy and even used the phrase "heck amighty" before the night was out.


As I was walking into work, a small amount of rain was clearing and revealed the most unbelievable rainbow behind EPCOT. Like a total nerd, I called friends living near the area. And like total nerds themselves, they stepped outside to see the rainbow. I just couldn't imagine anyone missing such a sight! So, again like a total nerd, I used my cell to take a photo to share so that no one misses it! (two photos actually to capture the entire thing) See below - didn't color adjust.

Friday, January 04, 2008

What the heck?! Current mood: surprised

Okay, here's what I think. If we're going to be subjected to this type of cold, the least we could get is a bit of snow out of it! Right?

Well... check it out!

http://www.local6.com/weather/14959516/detail.html?taf=orlpn

What the heck?! Dang ole stupid Daytona. I'm fully jealous!

At one point today, I sent two jobs to the big printer in the HR copy room. I immediately removed the warm pages from the tray and wrapped them around my arms.

Ahhh... warmth.

What the heck happened?! Last night I wore jeans and a 3/4 sleeve shirt outside. Tonight, when I took Beau to the alley for his last chance to do business before bed, I wore a long coat topped by a terrycloth bath robe for extra warmth! And I tucked behind the hedge to shield myself from the wind.

Holy freaking cow! Need I remind Mother Nature that this is FLORIDA!

(Come on, snow.)

It's even worse for my folks in Georgia just 4 1/2 hours away. When I spoke to them earlier tonight, they were piling logs next to the fireplace to keep it running. They'd already blanketed the well so it wouldn't freeze. (Yes, my folks have well water. No, my folks don't live in the BFE.)

At the current moment, the temperature in 34747 is 36 degrees with a feel-like temp of 27. This is FLORIDA! The temp is supposed to drop all the way to 31 with a feel-like temp of 20 before the night is out.

(Come on, snow.)

Hello? Mother Nature? This is freaking FLORIDA!

(Come on, snow.)

This is when I wish I had indoor parking like I did in Burbank. I could take the elevator down from my apartment to the parking garage beneath the building and walk right into a warm truck. Tomorrow, however, I'll leave my place and get into a cold car parked outside... and I live so close to work that the heat probably won't even have a chance to get hot!

(Come on, snow.)

I've been meaning to buy a space heater for my office (aka the frozen tundra). Dang it, now it's too cold to go shopping for one!

(Come on, snow.)

Do you think it might snow?

New Year's Eve.

EPCOT was amazing! One giant party. I wanted to jump around and dance and sing and be silly and completely out of my mind. But I was with folks that don't really know me so well yet… so best not to subject them to such a horrific scene.

I entered EPCOT and was hit by the music, the laughter, the excitement. I couldn't help but smile and laugh with strangers who grabbed my arm and twirled me around in a rocked out version of Twist-n-Shout near the ball. Surely, this would be a fun night at EPCOT.

Minutes later, I was in line getting a Strawberry Margarita in Mexico. The folks in front of me sort of brought me into the party they were having right there in line. Fun people. They asked me to hang with them for a while and in their drunken state made me promise to meet them later for the fireworks. "I just want to listen to you talk!" one said. But alas, I could not stay. I was meeting others in Japan.

Quite honestly, I went out for New Year's Eve as a tag-along… sort of a pity invite.

(And if this is read - I also apologize for the poor first impression I made on your friend.)

On a plus, at midnight and even until a little while afterwards, I was receiving text messages from friends in Los Angeles (where it was 9pm), in Wisconsin (where it was 11pm) and in Georgia (where it was midnight, too). I have the most amazing friends.

At a bit before 1am, I decided I'd crashed their party long enough and excused myself to head home. She wanted to dance and he wasn't dancing… I think because he felt bad to leave the non-dancer. And I, being me, was not about to dance in front of two people I barely know without at least 2 shots of Patron. (On a plus, my dancing antics might have cleared a nice spot in the crowd!)

So anyway, I left just before 1am, and at 2:30am I finally got home. EPCOT is less than 10 miles from my home. That's the kind of insane crowd that jammed the streets getting off Disney property.

But hey, I had some cool entertainment for the stop-n-go, stop-n-go...

For some of the wait in traffic, thanks to the gold Yukon in front of me with Georgia plates, I was entertained by Star Wars playing on the headrest. I got to see much of the bit where R2D2 and C3PO are in the desert. When the lane to my left moved a bit faster, I switched lanes and found new entertainment from a black Explorer. I caught a bit of old school He-Man, complete with Skeletor and Battle Cat. I didn't even know you could find that stuff, anymore!

New year. New posture. That's my New Year's resolution – I say as I straighten my shoulders and back.

I have a great job where I get to play, plan, scheme and look for ways to create fun and make people happy. I have an amazing family (happy birthday, Daniel!). I have friends who love me and say so. I have the world's best dog – ever.

With those things in mind, what else could a girl want? (besides better posture, Prince Charming and maybe a never-ending supply of Reese's Cups)

I love being carefree. But for the past 2 months I've been so terribly… dramatic (just like this posting). Not worth it. Done. Over. I'm back to being me. Carefree. Epiphany, ya know?

P.S. I found the orange!!!!