I truly believe there is an ancient, though still very present, curse that dates back to the days of the first grocery stores. I am familiar with no documented history of this curse, nor do I know of a reversal for the curse.

I have named the terrible afflication the "curse of the buggies."

Just as strongly as I believe it exists, I know I have the "curse of the buggies." Perhaps you know the curse, too. I'll tell you how I know I have it and you can see if you have experienced any of its horrors.

1. It never ever ever ever fails that I always always always get the only buggy in the grocery store that pull to one side. When I try to reject the faulty buggy and return it to the row, the curse kicks in and contaminates that next buggy I pull pull and it, quite suspiciously, the pulls to one side as well.

2. Occassionaly, I get a buggy that, while pulling to one side, rolls as though there is a boulder beneath one wheel. I check all four wheels to find no gum or hair balls or other materials causing the limp. That is how I know the boulder-buggy is certainly a result of the curse.

3. Then there's the unexplained noises. Clicks. Pops. Squeeks. It's just the curse reminding me of its existence and its intent to torture me.

4. Not quite as often, but certainly more devastating, the curse will makes its presence known with a gob of gum in the child seat that attaches itself to my purse.

5. And last, but not least, the "curse of the buggies" graces me with sticky junk on the handle that gets on my hands. So, I have to walk around the grocery store with sticky junk on my fingers because the thought of going into a grocery store bathroom is grosser than the sticky junk. And the worst part of sticky fingers means I can't sample the goods from the old lady with mini pizza bagels fresh out of a toaster oven on aisle four.