What in the good Lord's name makes people think they can sing? I'll tell you what... a beer (or two or three), a microphone, and words flying across a television monitor that hangs from the ceiling in the corner of a bar.

On Sunday night, I accompanied a friend to one of her favorite free hangout spots... a small karaoke joint in Burbank.

Dear God.

I witnessed everything from a hair-swinging, Janis-Joplin-wannabe to a show-tune-singing fellow wearing tight pants and a pink feather behind his ear.

Heaven Help.

Free admission and a two-drink minimum... a very bad combination during American Idol season. At least on American Idol, Simon gets to hold his hand up and indicate for the horrific audition to cease. If you hold your hand up in the karaoke bar, the performer believes you are enjoying the show and gets louder and wilder.

Urgh.

Bad stuff. Bad, bad stuff.

I'll probably go back next week.