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"Are you the girl who used to bag my groceries down at Von's?"

How about that for a line?

I got it yesterday at the beach. Yep.

So, I tell him no.

He proceeds to tell me that he spotted me from his brother's house on the strand and took out the binoculars to make sure I was indeed the girl from Von's.

Creepy.

And, of course, I am then imagining how he must have been able to see the freaking pores on my nose and the wrinkles around my eyes through these dad-blame binoculars. More detail than I care to see even myself.

So, I tell him that I don't live at the beach, but more inland. And that I've never worked at any grocery store - Redondo Beach or otherwise.

He apologizes and says how embarrassed he is for the mistake, yet still he takes a seat next to me and begins to chat.

I have to admit, while I didn't find him attractive in the least, it is flattering to be approached so randomly like that. A girl expects it at a club or bar or hanging with girlfriends on a Saturday night. But something like the Vons-dude is terribly flattering - because you're not looking for it, not dressed for it, not prepared for it. It kinda reassures a girl that even if you're not trying, you're doing a pretty good job.

High-five.

I had just left an audition at a location in Redondo Beach. It was 80 degrees (in January mind you) and I just couldn't force myself to get back into my truck and drive home. So, I grabbed the notebook and pen that forever reside in my front seat, bought a strawberry milkshake from Ruby's, threw a few quarters in the meter and walked down to the beach.

-- don't worry, I checked, double-checked and triple-checked the signs to make sure I wouldn't get another parking ticket.

And just when I thought I was 100% sick of California, the state goes and shows me Redondo Beach. Sailboats, crashing waves, volleyball, sun on my face, wind in my hair, bicyclists, rollerbladers, skateboarders, dogs chasing owners, children laughing, surfers, runners, sunbathers... and there I sat in my blue jeans and boots... but I was content.

I wrote. I had a couple of pleasant phone calls from friends. And then Vons-dude approached. All this after just leaving a pretty good audition.

All-in-all, not a bad day.

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Another parking ticket. I'm losing count. $65. Stupid, stupid California laws.

I have tint-free windows on my truck now, thanks to one idiotic, hotshot, just-out-of-the-academy cop. And probably a $111 fine... find out in February at my court appearance.

Can you tell I have a small problem with how things operate here?

I mean, the cops are more concerned with the tint on my windows than they are with the drug deals taking place behind the mini-mart, or the drunk driver swerving through town, or the moron using the emergency lane to weave through 3-8pm traffic. Oh, that's right. It's not 5 o'clock traffic in LA. It's 3-8pm traffic.

And yet, it's legal for the motorcycle driver to ride the white line. Come on, he's not even in a lane, people!

For your amusement, here are a few more dumb and stupid California laws:

State Laws:
-Women may not drive in a house coat.
-No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
-Bathhouses are against the law.
-It is illegal to own a snail, a sloth, or an elephant as a pet.

City Laws:
Arcadia
-Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Baldwin Park
-Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

Blyth
-You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

Bulringame
-It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.

Carmel:
-Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
-Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk.

Chico
-Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine. (this sounds like a place I want to visit)

Lodi
-It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String."

Long Beach:
-It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
-Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.

Los Angeles:
-Toads may not be licked.
-You may not hunt moths under a streetlight.
-It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.
-You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
-It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
-It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.

Ontario
-Roosters may not crow in the city limits.

Palm Spring
It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.

Prunedale
-Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.

Riverside
-One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.

San Diego
-The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.

San Francisco:
-Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
-Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash. (but wait, I thought it was illegal to own an elephant as a pet)
-It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

San Jose
-It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs.

Hollywood
-It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

Dana Point
-One may not use one's own restroom if the window is open.

Indian Wells:
-Drinking intoxicating cement is prohibited. (someone has done this - you they have)
-Crushing rocks in the city limits is forbidden.

Norco:
-All persons wishing to keep a rhinoceros as a pet must obtain a $100 license first.
-Growing oleander flowers is illegal.

Shasta Lake
-One may not raffle off a dog as a gift in any public place.

Walnut:
-Children may not wear a halloween mask unless they get a special permit from the sheriff.
-Males may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff.
-One may not leave sand in their own driveway.
-Kites may not be flown above 10 feet over the ground.